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I make this publication available at the beginning of each month. Two short articles offer some examples of how change can affect today's seniors. Change can be generated by internal and external factors such as our fluctuating body chemistry and/or by stressors in our immediate social and physical environment. Perhaps as a caregiver you find the behaviours of a loved one confusing and overwhelming and in the process you are deeply concerned at times not knowing how to help or who to talk to. Here we will share some thoughts on nurturing communication for stress free experiences. Another important aspect of communication is the changes in our ability to hear important sounds around us, not only for maintaining safety but for happiness and survival. |
“we can't change people unless they want to” From what I've heard about families dealing with loved ones stricken with Alzheimer's Disease I venture to say that communication becomes difficult – perhaps more difficult than trying to learn a foreign language. In the latter case you could hire an interpreter, use a dictionary or appropriate signs. The cognition that you share would eventually enable you to “connect”. But with AD, communication becomes almost impossible because the words and symbols uttered may not be coherent or referenced to the immediate situation. With growing numbers of seniors with dementias caregivers need to address and validate the feelings behind the often perplexing expressions of their clients and loved ones. In so doing all parties need not remain frustrated in the process. Care giving can be and should be a time for patience, love and even a little creativity. This may be easy to say but difficult to sustain. Naomi Feil who is the founder of Validation Therapy believes there is a reason behind the disorientation of the “old-old aged” and that bizarre behaviours you see are not just a function of changing brain chemistry but “reflect the combination of physical, social and psychological changes that take place over the lifespan”. She stresses that we can't change people unless they themselves want to change. So we must accept them non-judgementally. Uncompleted tasks along life's road surface later as problems. Failing memory prompts us to restore the balance so we reclaim earlier memories. We follow the “mind's eye” when eyesight fails. Subsequently, sounds from the past surface when hearing goes. I find Feil's interpretation rather notable because it helps us to understand humanity as it is: invariably with all experiences when one door closes another will open. In the process we move closer to others with whatever kind of language we share. |
communicating is sharing
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“my friend wanted a better life” Robert (not his real name) grew up in Quebec, fought with his peers and didn't continue his education. He moved to Ontario, and later separated from his wife and three daughters. One morning upon waking he couldn't hear anything. He sought medical attention and he was fitted with a hearing aid which he used for a while and then discarded because it malfunctioned. The cost of the device was covered by his disability pension. During the last twenty years he lost jobs. When he wasn't hanging around coffee shops he'd shovel snow, cut lawns, often pick up and return aluminum cans and grocery carts for quarters. He gambled his money on slot machines until he had to bar himself for life from the casino. As my neighbour and a senior, Robert impressed me with his negativity; especially about his living arrangements. At that time his brother had passed away and a sense of urgency to return to his roots in Quebec dominated our conversation - so much so that he broke his lease. Reluctantly, I helped him get on a bus home but after a month or so he called me from Quebec and said he had made another mistake. His family did not help him much, the region was too rural, and every one spoke French except him. He indicated he was returning to Ontario and a few weeks later he called me saying he was staying in a motel room. He didn't like it there either mainly because of the drinking parties and noise. Besides, food was hard to find and prepare. I helped him move to a motel closer to a grocery store. On our regular meetings he complained about his microwave oven that didn't work and he threatened to vacate the place. It was getting to the point where without intervention Robert would be at risk. One of the great things about this community is the safety nets made ready for people like Robert. When a social worker from Public Health was contacted Robert was guided to a suitable residence and provided with a referral to an audiologist. I always knew my friend wanted a better life and given the opportunity Robert cooperated in making positive changes. Thank you for your comments. I am always pleased to respond to your emails. |
Sudden hearing loss is a medical emergency
Contact us 407-4901 Buckley Avenue
"Awareness is the greatest agent for change." |
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